Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Want vs Need - a new poem

I need air,
I want it clean.
I need water,
I want it cool.
I need love,
But I want yours...

Lovely Logic

Were that it so simple
Basic arithmetic
An algorithm
Logic proven
One,
The derivative of one, four, and three
One, four and three
The difference between fifty-seven and forty-one

Fifty-seven and forty-one...
The sum of two souls looking for answers.
Were it as simple as theoretical math...
Complicated, yet with the possibility of being proven...

Thursday, October 6, 2011

     When many people think of those they have hurt in the past I feel as though they are rather non-chalant.  They might say, "Oh...yeah...that kind of sucked" or maybe even, "They deserved it."  When I think of those I have hurt, I feel pain and regret.  Not deep and tormenting pain and regret, but sincere pain and regret.  I think to myself, "Was I not <insert adjective here> enough to <insert my failing here>?"  My hope is that anyone who has entered my life has found my presence to bring some degree of happiness or fulfilling to them.  And for those who have had to leave it for one reason or another I hope that they find something greater than me for whatever they were seeking in me as soon as possible.  I am someone who believes in love.  I know I usually talk about "love," but in this case I am not referring to the emotional connection between two people, but in the sincere unconditional offering of good fortune for another's life journey.  There are some in my life that many would say I should wish ill upon, but even for them I hope they find that which I could not teach or bring into their life.  I am missing more than a couple people right now at this exact moment in my life.  One I loved considerably so in such a small duration of time that had you told me I would there would have been laughing.  One is a friend that shall not see again for a long time, God willing.  One is a friend I shall not see again until he finds some sort of peace of mind to pry him away from the self-destructive road he was on when I parted ways.  Obviously, I miss them because they are no longer in my life (though not all will be permanently out).  Still...I wish I could be for them what they wanted me to be.  I wish I could be a part of their joy.  Alas, I can only be myself, and so I shall be, hoping that Michael Funk is all they expect and want of me.

Monday, October 3, 2011

A dilemma...

I feel the need to have a “mental health” day from work.  Normally, not a problem except that so many of my friends work, so I would pretty much be sitting around my place doing nothing.  That’s okay for a lot of people, but for me it just feels like a waste of time.  If I sit somewhere lounging by myself for any long period of time I start to feel as though the walls are caving in around me.  I’m not quite sure what the answer is and life is only going to get busier.  Perhaps it’s time to Google “stress prevention?”